We and our Friends

When I was a kid, though if I am not at 66 years past, whenever any class fellow of mine came to visit me, my father would invariable ask that who had come. And I would say without any hesitation that a friend a of mine. My father would just smile and tell me that he may be your acquaintance or a mere class fellow but not a friend. And that always puzzled me for I was suer that someone who visiting me was nothing but a friend. The notion is similar as we have more than xxxx numbers of friends on Facebook and many others on various social media networks – but despite that we are all alone. I know the reason: These countless numbers are just acquaintances – not my friends, as my father told me decades ago.

I also read many posts that they were defrauded by the person called friend who left when they needed the friend the most. I also know the answer here too: They were just people piling up their list of friend by making you a friend and getting a reciprocal action.

But one comes to know who actually one’s friends are - and mind you they cannot be more than a few. Anyone who claims that he has a dozen or more friends, he is sadly mistaken While one progresses in life, your Wishlist of friends continues to scale down. The test of true friendship comes if God forbids one stumbles and is in real distress. Our hardships tell us who our friends really are – and do not be surprised to know that the number would not be more than a couple.

You may not agree with me – but I have learnt this the hard way. Don’t make a mistake identifying your friends lest you are disappointed and get heart broken.

You may listen to a beautiful song "You've got a friend" by James Taylor that beautifully describes friendship - my favourite since my teen age:

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Always preserve your childhood

This post is specially those who have gone past their prime youth age and stepping in to the rather serious stage of their life. It is also applicable for me as I have already entered the age of  senior citizen.

When one is old, one has two choices – shroud oneself in the old age or while still behaving like an old man, doesn’t let the child inside die and keep him giggling. It is the second type of oldies who live a meaningful, vibrant and happy old age. In fact those who preserve their childhood never grow old – they are always young at heart, which keeps them healthy and happy.

In his book "I'm OK - You're OK" psychiatrist Thomas Anthony Harris presents a practical guide to transactional analysis as a method for solving problems in life. According to him, each man's life is composed of three segments: Parent, Adult and Child. And man reflects these segments of his life every now and then. And it is the last segment child that is the subject of post today. 

So be a child much too often. One may still wear a short and go out and play in the rain – one may still like to wear gaudy colour clothes one wore in the childhood and crack jokes and move about heartily. Although one should not be like a child all the time, but occasionally recalling one’s childhood has no harm. and to do that, one must never quit the family of school or college day friends for it is they who help has reminisce our childhood and recall days of our innocence or should I say golden period  of our life. A life that is long past but can be relived when with friends of our childhood. 

Zurich, Switzerland - 2014 (Photo: Jalal HB)

I saw this young couple in their 60s, wearing colourful clothes and glasses with rectangular and round frame, enjoying their childhood youth merrily. They giggled and laughed and held each other tight with a passionate kiss. I saw them enjoying while standing outside a nearby shop and took this photo. How often do we do this - perhaps very seldom.

The choice rests with us: Live a dull and boring life, mostly clinging to our reclining chair, reading newspapers full of hair raising news and then feel helpless for not having changed the world, or go out and meet friends and make our life joyous and health for hearty Laughters raise our spirits and in turn keeps us healthy.

Social media is one such forum where once can find lost friends and lost childhood happiness. I for myself was found out by a school day class fellow and then the chain was not ending as through him I found out many other class fellows I haven't met or even talked to for good about four to five decades. I  have already shared my experience of finding out lost friend in one of my earlier posts: School days friends: Lost and Found.

And these reunions even took me to Groningen, Holland to meet a friend of school days and had hearty laughs with him recalling our school days, our mischiefs - something that made our families smile too, seeing oldies laughing like kids.

Would you like to relive your childhood in your old age?

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Once in a while

Have you ever been avid Niel Diamond listener? Well from my teen age I have been and listening to his beautiful melodious voice and captivating lyrics still resound in my memories. 

And once in a while I listen to one of his popular songs: Once in a while. And when I do, the beautiful lyrics of the song take me into my nostalgic past - a time when we five brothers lived our childhood and later the teenage with our loving parents. I t wasn't long that we all parted in search of our future leaving the two most beautiful people that ever came to my life - my parents. And since then, it was only an occasional calling on as the dictates of our employments could not afford us longer stints with them.

And then time started to pass by faster than we could imagine - we had our families as once our parents had. And age started to set in we were growing in our age while our parents was growing old, fragile and then days came when the took their heavenly flights one after the other - leaving behind the nostalgia that still clings to my memory: those 78 RPM His Master Voice recodes and the gramophone that my father had and from it we listened to the English songs of 1950s and thereafter till the age of LPs came, or going to school making friends and then our father taking us to Shezan, a local thriving restaurent, on our birthdays and in the process making us learn the table etiquettes when in a hotel and even how to address a waiter and registering an order.

There is much more to say that keep coming back from memory hard disk every once in a while till my eldest brother Gul Hameed Bhatti, a renowned cricket journalist and analyst, and our dear sister in law Razia Bhatti, of Herald Tribune, later the Herald and then founder of the Newsline - famous English magazine of Pakistan, also took their buses to heavens. And leaving behind their memories forever with us brothers and their children and the people who knew them.

The presnt is becasue of the parents, siblings, friends and people we once had and knew. And when they are no more, it is only peeping back in our past and reminisicing the memories of the days when everyone was around - when life had parents and when life was fun. So do look back in your past once in a while frequently for it is those days which are trasure of life.

If you care, you may now lsiten to the beautiful song that complelled me to write this post:

Photo: My family (less the fifth brother who wasn't around when this photo was taken i 1978 - Lahore).
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Friends of Pakistan Celebrate Pakistan's Independence Day

On 14th August this year, Pakistan celebrated its 70 Independence Day as it was on this day in 1947 when the British Indian empire finally came to an end and resulted into its division into Pakistan and India. Muhammad Ali Jinnah, commonly known as Quaid-e-Azam (the great leader) was at the helms of the affairs to win over Muslim majority areas of the British India in the shape of Pakistan.

However, the Indians with their tacit relations with the then Viceroy of India Mountbatten had the roads leading to Kashmir amd included city of Gurdaspur in India - thus creating a long standing rivalry between Pakistan and India, which still continues till date. Pakistan supports the just struggle of majority Muslim population of Kashmir but the world concious continues to sleep to keep their eyes closed on the atrocities committed by the Indian Army to curb the just struggle movement of the Kashmiri Muslims to join Pakistan.

While we in Pakistan celebrate our independence day, Kashmiri Muslims in the Indian Occupied Kashmir also celebrate the day with Pakistani flags hoisted all over Kashmir despite brutal efforts by Indian government and army to silence their support and love for Pakistan. We in Pakistan hope that one day Kashmir will be free from the Indian yoke and join our part of Kashmir, God Willing.

This year, the 70th independence day celebrations were joined in by our Turkish and Saudi friends who sent their air force contingents to participate in the biggest air show in Pakistan ever and show their love for brotherly Pakistan.

The grand show started with excellent air show by Pakistan Air Force Mirage, F-16 and JF-17 Thunder air craft, followed by Puma SA-330, Augusta and Mi-17 helicopters of Pakistan Navy and Pakistan Army.

JF-17 Thunder, pride of Pakistan Air Force and a joint venture of Pakistan and China

The appearance of “Solo Turk”, the acclaimed Turkish aerobatic team of Turkish Air Force with Pakistan flag's crescent and star painted on their under bellies won the hearts of thousands of spectators below including the president of Pakistan, diplomats and other dignitaries.

The acrobatic show by the famous “Saudi Hawks” of Royal Saudi Air Force was simply spectacular and awe inspiring. The colours of coloured smoke and the roar of the Hawks filled the arena and dominated the show.

At the end, the para troopers of all three services of Pakistan Armed Forces after having had the free falls landed in the arena to end the day of heart winning festivities joined in by our Turkish and Saudi brethren.

About the Photos: All photos above have been courtesy Faisal Khan, a wonderful photographer who has been gifted with the aesthetic ability and the eye for the right moment and shoots it with a professionals eye. 

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Find us on Facebook

Last year I got a phone call from London, England - the person on the other end bombarded a lot of questions that only someone who knew me in my teens could ask. I tried to recall my memories of some four decades and even old and was still engrossed in guessing when the caller introduced him to me: Zahid Masood Khan, a class fellow of mine since 1966-971. He found me out from Facebook - that was the start of many more pleasant encounters.

And then a chain of events started. A few days back I got a call from another classmate Tahir Aslam from Lahore, followed by Khaleeq from Saudi Arabia and the chain kept on connecting. And then I found a friend tariq Hashmi in Holland, Rashid Mahmud and Dilawar in Lahore. 

Meeting my friend Tariq Hashmi (second from left) in Groningen, Holland 2014 - flanked by our sons

And as if that was not all - I also got connected to a classmate working for Habib Bank in Bangladesh. It was really amazing as the chain is still connecting. I met all those in Pakistan recently as the came to my home in Islamabad and I went to Lahore to meet some. Not only that I went to Holland to meet my friend Tariq Hashmi and suddenly my memories and nostalgia brought me back my yesterdays - once more.

But that is not all still. Another surprise was yet to come till a few days earlier. A few years back while in Islamabad with my younger son, I passed through F-6/4 sector, a place where we lived from 1966-1971. Though we actually lived in Lahore, we visited our father in our vacations, who was then heading the Interpol Pakistan. I had some vivid memories of the place, so I decided to go to the house where we once spent our vacation.

In 1966, the area where we lived was fresh, clean and well maintained. The smell of fresh paint could still be felt when we occupied our flat 27/7 in 1966. But the landscape had changed and did not not present a healthy look with unkempt hedges and long grown grass. But for me its was still a place where I had spent earlier part of my teen. I asked my son to take a photo of me while I stood in front of the flat 27/7 (above).

I never knew someone else living so close to us would be watching this photo. I shared this photo too on Facebook and specially on page My Home Islamabad. Many people liked and commented on the photo - and then someone asked me if I knew her father. Well I never thought that someone lived so close to us and I replied: I wish I could - we did not have Facebook then. She liked my remark and that was all.

But then another comment came - this time naming her father: Umar Daraz Khan. And that was a bullhit. Yes I knew Uncle Umar daraz Khan, we called Uncle UD Khan, who lived on the upper story of oflat. And I instantly replied and was reconnected to my past. Children of Uncle UD and we were of the same age and had a wonderful childhood/teenage. The next comment was a bit sad as I was told that her parents and only brother of our age have since boarded their heavenly flights. 

Much that I wanted to meet my father's friends, but that four decades is a lot of time and obviously my father and his friends were in their 50s at that time and living beyond 90 is a lesser of all the probabilities. But finding their children was really amazing and a wonderful coincidence. Suddenly my mind was floating in Islamabad and the street where I lived (I wonder if you have heard this song or not - from once classic My Fair Lady).

This is the wonder magic of Facebook - do you have any such coincidences?

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School days friends - Lost and Found

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School days friends – Lost and Found

Google and Facebook are excellent places to find lost friends and classmates. It has been more than four decades since I left my school and had since lost contact with some of the classmates and friends with whose good company I once enjoyed. Going to the college and joining a professional line which took me to a new place every two years, it was not possible to retrace my footsteps and find some familiar faces.

Thus more than four decades passed. Technologies changed and the Facebook and Google made it possible to find people provided they too were active on these two major social media networks and search engines.
While in school, we were a group of few friends out of which many went out of the country in search of better future. In early 70s, the means of communication were not as good as these are today and thus we lost contact with each other. Since Rashid Mahmood (read more about him in the end) and I were in the same profession, we met once or twice in the 80s but then lost each other.

Farhat Qayyum Naz: 43 years ago (left) and now (right)

Farhat Qayyum Naz who had gone and settled in Sydney Australia, came once in 2008 and I met hin Islamabad where he was staying in a hotel. That was the first meeting with him after school and since 2008 Facebook is the only contact with him.

Zahid Masood Khan: 43 years ago (left) and now (right)

The first 'overseas' contact was established last year when I received a call from England and I heard a rather familiar voice I had last listened to some 43 years ago when I left the school. It was my friend Zahid Masood Khan who found me out on the Facebook and then through a common friend found out my cell number and made contact.

 Tariq Hashmi: 43 years ago (left) and now (right)

Through him, I got in contact with another friend, Tariq Hashmi, presently living in Groningen, the Netherlands. And when I recently went to Germany where my younger son Wahaab Jalal is studying in the Kiel University of Applied Sciences, I made it a point to travel to Holland and meet him. 

Left to right: My younger son, Tariq Hashmi, Me and Hashmi's eldest son at Groningen, Netherlands

And soon our two families got along with each other as we two knew each other many many years ago. I have already written about this reunion in one of my earlier posts: To Netherlands – to meet a friend after 43 years.

And yet again one day I received a message on Facebook from a school days friend Muhammad Khaleeq, messaging from Doha, Qatar. This added a a third friend to the list. Khaleeq came to visit me a few months back and we shared some of the best memories of school days.

Me with Khaleeq with our 43 years old photos

And as if this is not the end. I also got in contact with yet another friend, Malik Tahir Aslam, who had left for another school while we were in the 9^th class and last night he came to visit me and I met him after 45 years.

Malik Tahir Aslm: 43 years ago (left) and now (right)

Tahir (left) and I (right) as of last night

This really has been a great experience, meeting one friend after the other. 

There is yet another friend, Rashid Mahmood, that I found on Facebook and have sent him a message to re-establish the lost contact. We were together till eight grade, when he left for the prestigious Cadet College, Hasanabdal. Although we once met thereafter in our professional lives in Karachi, but that was long time back in early 80s.

 Rashid Mahmood: As of now

And the telephonic contact with Rashid has finally been established and he promised to visit me by this month end. This would almost complete my list of friends and I do hope that we all someday meet in Lahore, a place where we last met to share the nostalgia of the good old school days and those four decades that just went by in between our Lost and Found quest.

Tahir Mirza: 43 years ago (left) and sometimes from now (right)

And before I forget, let me recall my dear friend Tahir Mirza. He was a gem of a person to whose house I often went and played vinyl records on his radiogram. His father was a man of taste and class who would often come in and would chat with him. Tahir was close to Zahid Masood, myself and Tariq Hashmi. So when I first established contact with Zahid Masood, I asked about Tahir Mirza. But was saddened to know that he had already flown to his heavenly abode in 2008. I wish he was still here with us but perhaps this is what the Nature had planned for him. Be blessed, good old Tahir Mirza - may we all meet in Heavens one day.

There are still many classmates and friends I still vividly remember. Some of these being Tanvir Hayat (the genius of our class who always topped), Bashir (who was a math wizard), Iftikhar and Dilawar, with whom I used to partly share my way home after the school through Anarkali and famous Paisa Akhbar Road. Then there was Mazhar ul Haq, who later went to NCA (National College of Arts) to do architecture as did Farhat and I recently found him out through my cousin Ibrar Bhatti who is also graduate of NCA. I sent him a message and got a prompt reply. We hope to interact more on Facebook, as he said in his message.

Mazhar ul Haq: 43 years ago (left) - thereafter (centre) and now (right)

So this is how the digital age and the social media is helping out people to find friends, specially those lost since long and bringing them closer yet again. Have you ever found friends through search engines like Google or social media network like Facebook?
Updated 10 June 2018:

I had just one more surprise yesterday when I received a call from a lost classmate Iftikhar. We used to walk back from school through Anarkali where he lived while I continued on foot to my home on McLeod Road.

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