Are you lonesome tonight?

'Are you lonesome tonight?' - this was Elvis Presley’s famous hit song released in 1975 – when I was just 20 years old, a year after leaving my teen barriers. But at that time, I did not really understand the meaning of being lonesome. But now I have started to.

Many people consider them lonely when they find no one around and often lament to be all alone – and many dread to be in this state at any stage of their lives. This is specially true for people who are aging and their children are moving away to settle in their lives. I too am not far from this stage of become lonesome.

But is this the very worst thing one contemplates? Well not really, as there can be a worst scenario still!!

The worst scenario of feeling loneliness is the one when despite being surrounded by people; you get a feeling that you are still alone. Or the people around you make you feel that you are all alone despite their presence around you. In fact this scenario is killing – you want to talk to them, but you are ignored, not once, not twice, but repeatedly.

As you age, you will experience this phenomenon more severely, painfully and lamentably – are you prepared for this? 

You may now listen to the song, specially if it is a dark night with raining and clouds thundering and lightening flashing - and you are feeling lonesome:

Photo: Pixabay | Video: Musicislifee01
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From Uncle to Baba Jee

Life has a speed perhaps faster than the speed of light. It seems moving at a slower pace but in fact it is zooming past at a much higher speed than we can actually feel.

From childhood to teenage the period is so short that when one start to enjoy it, it is almost half way though and over in a few years time - taking us into a bracket of life when small children start to call us uncles. And then the 'uncle' stage continues for a pretty long time - to our late 50s. And then graying of hair sets in  - taking us into a transitory period of life between uncle and the old.

I too have been enjoying the uncle stage for quite some time now even when my hair had become grey and mustaches almost white with a few black hair here and there. But still I was uncle.

But last night, my transitory stage came to an abrupt end. I was sitting in a store while my wife and son were busy shopping. Next to me were sitting a young father and her angel like doll baby girl, eating potato chips. While I was not actually looking it at her and was trying to find my wife and son, suddenly the doll touched my arm and in her sweet still learning voice said: Baba Jee, Baba Jee (or in other words Old Man, but with respect) !!

Well that was the first time anyone addressed me with Baba Jee - it was both amusing and interesting. I smiled at her who by then was again busy devouring on her pack of potato chips. When my wife and son came and I told them what had happened to my status and naturally they were all smiles. 

But her addressing me Baba Jee suddenly took me from the middle age to the beginning of old age, which made me wonder how swiftly the life has gone by and it has been two years since I stepped into my six decade age bracket - the last age bracket of my life which can abruptly end anytime. But till it happens, I intend to enjoy someone call me Baba Jee for it is both amusing and loving.

Photo: Pixabay
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When I am Sixty (four)

Long time back, early 70s to be exact when one day I strolled from home to Hall Road to buy the Beatles' Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band LP. The magnificent LP was bound in a double jacket and for this very reason it was priced Rs. 75.00 while ordinary LPs cost Rs. 40 in 1970s. This very LP had lyrics of all the songs printed on it and the inner cover carrying portrait of all the four Beatles dressed in the colourful army uniforms.

Although the LP had been released in 1967, it reached us in early 70s and we five brothers did not hesitate a moment to add it to our small LPs collection.

Beside many memorable songs, one of the these beautifully sung sings was 'When I am 64.' Though I listend to the song along with the others, I generally shrugged off the diea of being 64 one day as for someone in one's very early teens, 64 seemed something very far in the distant future.

But that teen, that happened to be I, never knew that time flies faster than the speed of light and the day finally comes when one is touching the 60s.

1967 - 2015 (12 years to 60 years - celebrating the 60 years)

I am flanked by my son (left) and my wife (second from right) along with family friends who joined us on my 60th birthday from Lahore

And today is the day that I am 60 (say happy birthday to me - thanks) and was just pondering over how I am transformed from a carefree teen into a man whose hair have gone grey and much have withered away with time, though some semblance of black is still struggling to survive. 

And the lyrics of the song have started to reveal their true meaning and reality. For those who have not listened to the song, here it lyrics:

When I get older losing my hair
Many years from now
Will you still be sending me a valentine
Birthday greetings, bottle of wine?
If I'd been out till quarter to three
Would you lock the door?
Will you still need me, will you still feed me
When I'm sixty-four?

You'll be older too
And if you say the word
I could stay with you

I could be handy, mending a fuse
When your lights have gone
You can knit a sweater by the fireside
Sunday mornings go for a ride
Doing the garden, digging the weeds
Who could ask for more?
Will you still need me, will you still feed me
When I'm sixty-four?

Every summer we can rent a cottage in the Isle of Wight
If it's not too dear
We shall scrimp and save
Grandchildren on your knee
Vera, Chuck & Dave

Send me a postcard, drop me a line
Stating point of view
Indicate precisely what you mean to say
Yours sincerely, wasting away
Give me your answer, fill in a form
Mine for evermore
Will you still need me, will you still feed me
When I'm sixty-four?

I (sitting far left - aged 12) with my parents and brothers 

This group photo was taken on 1 November 1967 (just the time when the Beatles album was released) on 25th wedding anniversary of our parents (may Allah bless them - Aameen)

Well today at 60, this song means much more to me as it did more than four decades ago. Luckily I have a loving wife and two grown up kids taking good care of me - not giving me any chance at all to feel morose or sad of reaching 60. But the goodness and the nostalgia of the days when I was in my early teens not caring much about growing 60 so 'soon' is still very pleasant and a bit melancholy as I have lost so many people in the time since then - specially my parents and eldest brother Gul Hameed Bhatti. 

The five of us (left to right): Gul - Zaffar - Kamal - Jalal (myself) - Jamal

The last time we five brothers were together (1981) - Gul Hameed Bhatti bade us farewell on 4 February 2010

This makes me sad for losing such landmark people of my life. So while I live on hoping to be 64 very soon, I continue to live in my memories with my wife and children by my side taking good care of a nostalgically 'growing' old man.

and before I share the video of the song mentioned above, let me share some of the best birthday wishes I received on my 60th birthday:

Someone said 40 is the old age of youth and 60 the youth of old age. Bravo for entering in youth. Great sir enjoy.

Sixty is sixty math does not matter.happy birthday.

Youth is not a time of life, it is a state of mind.It is not a matter of rosy cheeks,red lips or supple knees. It is a matter of enthusiasm, will, quality of imagination, vigor of emotions and the freshness of deep springs of life.

And the best of all shared by my son Wahaab Jalal Bhatti:

Now watch the video of the song (taken out from the Beatles album 'Yellow Submarine'):

Beatles - When I'm Sixty-Four by hushhush112

For my young readers still in teens, enjoy your life and live it out meaningfully and full of joy for my age is right next door - while I wait for another four years to be 64!!

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A Wooden Spoon For You!!

Sometimes small anecdotes startle and shake a person beyond one’s imagination and leave such an everlasting impression and a lesson that even if one tries to forget, one simply cannot.

The anecdote that I read goes something like this. Once there lived an old man with his son, wife and grandson. The old man was too old and would often drop a spoon or a glass or even could not hold peas in the spoon and spill them over the table and the floor. His son’s wife became disgusted one day and arranged a table and a chair in thee corner for the old man so that her husband and son could eat in peace. He was given food in a wooden bowl and a wooden spoon to eat so to avoid wrangling sounds and to avoid breakage of cutlery and crockery. The old man continued to eat with the same disarray, but now with tears of hurt in his eyes as well.

One day the father found his little son trying to make something with the wood. He asked him, “Son, what are you doing?” The son innocently replied, “Daddy, I am making a wooden spoon for you and Mama so that you could eat with it when you grow old.”

Startled? I know you would be. I don’t have to tell you that from that day onwards, the old man was brought back to the table to eat the way he did before.

I am sharing this with my readers, specially those who have their old parents living with them or dependent on them. Take good care of the old, as you would grow old too one day and beware of the fact that your children are watching you. Don’t let them make a wooden spoon for you and your spouse.

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