The Monkey Test

If you hear of the word 'Monkey Test,' you would probably think of some monkey business into it as the word simply sounds funny.

The Monkey Test

But those who are serious at their work and have ingenuity of mind, may even go to the extent of 'monkey testing' what they produce to give it the last test that involves the unimaginative and un-think-of  treatment at the hands of monkeys to check the robustness of their products.

Each year the car manufacturers have their vehicles undergo rigorous tests to ensure their cars have been tested in extreme conditions so that the finished product when reaches the customers, it is as safe as it could humanly be made so. But what about the 'Moneky Test?'

Recently, Hyundai's new family i30 hatchback was put to the ultimate 'Monkey Test' at Knowsley Safari Park, in Merseyside, where the baboons are well known for mobbing visitors' motors. The car was left at the mercy of the baboons, who took a heavy toll of every part of the car's body, attachments, buttons, interior and upholstery. 

As the Monkey Test was video taped, it was really fun watching the 'experts' at work. At one stage, some 40 baboons 'inspected' the car, jumping up and down on the seats and clambering through the ‘panoramic ambience’ (Hyundai’s phrase) of the sliding glass roof.

and when the Monkey Test was over, it was found with  delight that the 'experts' had only left a few scrapes, lots of smears and finger marks, a dislodged rubber door seal that was rejected as a snack, plus some tooth marks in the steering wheel. The good news: no one stole the alloys. The car passed the Monkey Test.

Read more/see more photos/watch Monkey Test video: Mail Online

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Most important men in the life of the Man and Woman

Ever wondered who is the most important person in the life of a man and woman? Well I don’t know about you, but my younger son one day told me so. He asked me the same question and gave many options to him, but he had some sinister ideas. So when all my options dried out, he came up with his version of these two important men.

“For mother”, he contended, “Mr Muhammad Hussain is the most important man.” “Mr Muhammad Hussain?”, I asked in amazement as I had never heard of this name from my wife. My son smiled and said, “Mr Muhammad Hussain is the pseudo name of her tailor.” It made me smile too and I admired his observation and judgment. Because the way a tailor is addressed, even if he stitches the shirt from the cloth meant for the trousers and the trousers from the cloth of the shirt, it is all smiles with a mild reprimand. But imagine the same blunder being committed by her husband – only married men would know the answer.

Still curious and inquisitive about who could be important to me, I started to get the idea based on the tailor thing. But I still persisted to know from my son the answer, just to cross check my wild guess. And yes, I guessed it right. My car mechanic, Muhammad Naeem. For those, who do not know the ABC of the car engine and its problems, the car mechanic is the most authoritative person. As this man can, just like a wife, knows the art of getting as many blue notes out of your wallet as he pleases after a quick look at your face and the car. The more perturbed you look, more you have to pay. From simple tuning costing Rs. 500, the bill would swell to thousands as suddenly it would be announced that many other parts need replacement, lest you want to visit him very soon the next time. So once in the auto workshop, make sure you carry a swelled wallet to buy many accessories and parts before you drive out to the satisfaction of your mechanic. And that satisfaction is clearly visible on his face as you start to count the blue notes one after the other. A blue note amounts to Rs. 1,000.

I am much wiser now – may be you are too.

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